| Had to pass it along... cause it made me laugh...until I hurt |
[Jan. 23rd, 2009|07:46 pm] |
Sent to me from a friend...
"Thought I would share my latest shopping episode with you. Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart on Peachtree Industrial, for my dog Bailey. I was about to check out when some woman behind me in the checkout asked if I had a dog. Evidently she must have been from Buckhead. What did she think, that I had an elephant?
I decided to have some fun. Since I had little else to do, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!" |
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| Author Unknown... |
[Dec. 25th, 2008|10:32 pm] |
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit |
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| Spiff quote... |
[Dec. 20th, 2008|12:19 am] |
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not on this earth for eternity.
We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting
like a snowflake.
Marie Beynon Ray (Adapted)
American Author |
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| Rocky Horror... |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|02:32 am] |
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Does anyone know of a theater that still plays it? |
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| I still get.... |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|11:47 pm] |
tongue-tied and nervous and loose my concentration when talking to someone I am attracted to...
sigh...
I'm sure he thinks I'm a twit... sigh...
oh well... life goes on |
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| Keepin' on keepin' on |
[Oct. 1st, 2008|07:59 pm] |
Second job keeps getting extended...
first job is okay...
start Seminar classes Tomorrow...
We'll see how it pans out... |
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| Today... |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|12:54 am] |
Raisin Bread with Almond Butter -- YUM!
Got to both works and back with no freeway drama....
I was going against traffic fleeing the hurricane going to the works...
and with it going back home...(at 10am thim morning)
Winds picking up but no rain yet... but then again I'm 2 hours north of the gulf.
Am sitting out the 'cane in my apartment.... less than 5 minutes from where my son is housed...
There are projected power outages... but nothing more severe than that at the moment. Only a quarter of the storm has come ashore yet though,
11:13 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove |
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| Texas DUI |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|12:52 am] |
Got this off my list...
thought ya'll'd like this
Only a person in Texas could think of this.
>
> From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport,
> comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol
> parked outside a bar in Austin , Texas after last call the
> officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently
> intoxicated that he could barely walk.
>
> The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
> with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
> eternity in which he tried his keys on five different
> vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.
>
>
> He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
> left the bar and drove off.
>
> Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and
> off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers
> on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then
> switched on the lights.
>
> He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a
> little and then remained still for a few more minutes
> As some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.
>
> At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot,
> he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
>
> The police officer, having waited patiently all this time,
> now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights,
> promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer
> test .
>
> To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence
> that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
>
> Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to
> accompany me to the police station
>
> This breathalyzer equipment must be broken'
>
> 'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck.
> 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.' |
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| Nifty quote... |
[Aug. 30th, 2008|12:00 am] |
When Thoreau was on his deathbed, a friend asked him, 'Have you made peace with God?' Thoreau looked up at him and said: 'I wasn't aware that God and I had quarreled.'
Author Unknown |
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| Learning... |
[Aug. 17th, 2008|10:31 am] |
That 70ish hours of work a week and school don't mix well...
That I never can really give up hope on some things
even if they are not probable... |
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| Random wisdom... y update |
[Jun. 7th, 2008|12:45 am] |
Wisdom
Watched Daywatch this evening (Russian/Vampire movie)
major quote of the movie...
You can't control the fate of the world if you can't control your own fate
Talking to Chrystal yesterday...
quote of the evening was...
Sometimes you're the balloon... sometimes you're the string.
Update...
Class was good... it would have sure come in handy when I was running criminal histories for the state...
Job search tally... 11 resumes sent...1 re-interview with an agency...1 interview with retail for a PT evening position... |
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| Unsettling... |
[May. 23rd, 2008|06:48 pm] |
There are some people you just kinda thought would just be there...
forever...
some how some way... their and your ellipsis would intersect periodically at random....
circling through the SCA...
they've done things their own way...
survived many things most people wouldn't...
and just kept going...
all of a sudden they're gone...
I just hope the afterlife is all she wished it would be...
though I kind of doubt she ever really thought about it... |
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| The unfortunate truth... |
[May. 12th, 2008|09:15 pm] |
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I wouldn't pass it around. Wouldn't be doing anybody a favor. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble. That's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say, meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
American Supreme Court Justice |
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| Wisdom from the Sagas... pt 3 via Rick ;) |
[Apr. 17th, 2008|12:18 am] |
Wisdom from the Saga’s part 3
From the Saga of the Volsungs:
Each man must at one time die
The eye takes pleasure while it yet beholds
No one is able against many.
Many a man lives where there is little hope.
Few are bold in old age who were cowardly in childhood.
Everyone wants to have wealth until that one day, but everyone must die sometime.
It often happens that he who receives a mortal wound avenges himself.
When men come to battle, a fearless heart serves a man better than a sharp sword.
Suspect a wolf where you see a wolfs ears.
(Brynhilds wise counsel)
Do well by your kinsmen and take little revenge for their wrongdoings.
Beware of ill dealings, both of a maids love and a mans wife; ill often rises from these.
Control your temper with foolish men at crowded gatherings, for they frequently speak worse than they know.
When you are called a coward, people may think you are rightfully named so.Kill the man another day, rewarding him for his malicious words.
If you travel a road where evil creatures dwell, be wary.
Although caught by nightfall, do not take shelter near the road, for foul beings who bewilder men often live there.
Even if you see a beautiful woman at feast, do not let them entice you so that they interfere with your sleep or distress your mind. Do not allure them with kisses and other tenderness.
If you hear foolish words from drunken men , do not dispute with those that are drunk on wine and have lost their wits.To many men such things bring grief or even death.
It is better to fight with your enemies than to be burned at home.
DO NOT SWEAR A FALSE OATH, BECAUSE HARD VENGEANCE FOLLOWS THE BREAKING OF A TRUCE.
Do the right thing by dead men, be they dead from disease, by drowning, or by weapon. Prepare their bodies with care.
Do not trust any man , even though he is young, whose father or brother or close kinsmen has been killed by you; often a wolf lies in a young son. Beware the wile of friends.(end of Brynhilds wise counsel)
It is wiser counsel not to put your trust in a woman, because women always break their promises (this ought to stir the pot some, lol).
Always one dreams before storms.
Only ask what is best for you to know. That is is suitable for noble women.
It is easy to be satisfied while everthing happens according to your desires.
Fortune is to fragile a thing to trust that it not break.
The Vinland Sagas:
There is much truth in the saying that one never knows until one is answered.
Eyrbyggja Saga:
Many a fair skin hides a foul mind.
Better to bear ones losses than to stir up a lot of trouble.
What happens to others can happen to you.
It's not always best to walk behind. |
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| Lemmingness... one word from Sine ;) |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|07:54 pm] |
Cause I haven't figured out how to do the "behind the cut" thing...
it's all here... sigh...
I like memes cause they give you a snapshot of where a person's brain is at.
1.Where is your mobile phone? table
2.Your significant other? nonexistent
3.Your hair? tentative
4.Your mother? sculptress
5.Your father? deceased
6.Your favorite thing? many
7.Your dream last night? wyrd
8.Your favorite drink? varies
9.Your dream/goal? solvency
10.The room you're in? living
11.Your ex? delusional
12.Your fear? dependency
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? flush
14.Where were you last night? viewing
15.What you're not? lost
16.Muffins? pistachio
17.One of your wish list items? travel
18.Where you grew up? shuffled
19.The last thing you did? cruized
20.What are you wearing? jeans
21.Your TV? gift
22.Your pets? none
23.Your computer? gift
24.Your life? transition
25.Your mood? sleepy
26.Missing someone? family
27.Your car? surviving
28.Something you're not wearing? earrings
29.Favorite Store? thrift
30.Your summer? full
31.Like someone? depends
32.Your favorite color? perivinkle
33.When is the last time you laughed? today
34.Last time you cried? Friday |
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| Life is complex... |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|06:16 pm] |
Currently Reading
The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence
By Colette Dowling
Been reading self-help books again;)
this time an old "classic"... "The Cinderella Complex"...
not that it applies to everywoman...
but it still seems to apply to a large segment of the female population
you'd think that with the massive "equality" movement going since the 60's
that the findings of this book, published in 1981, wouldn't apply.
I've seen several bright, intelligent, self-sufficient women succumb to it when they get into relationships...
they shift and change and become what their SO wants them to be...without even thinking.
Rather than integrating into a "team" they become dependent
on the other person to the degree that they lose a large portion of themselves. portion of themselves. |
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| Not quite where I wanted to be... |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|05:53 pm] |
I was going to be working a demo with Viking Invasion at the San Antonio Highland games this weekend... and visiting "family" along the way...
but it just didn't work out...
it would have cost me 2 weeks worth of gas...
and having new dr's bills... and no insurance...
and school to pay for soon... I just couldn't make the stretch...
no matter how much I wanted to go... it wasn't fiscally feasible at the moment... |
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